When a relationship ends we question ourselves. We wonder what we did wrong, we might regret some of our behaviors or actions, we think of how different things would be if we just wouldn’t have responded in such way or we might not understand what we did wrong, so maybe there is something wrong with us that makes us unlikeable or unlovable… simply not good enough.
All these thoughts lead negative feelings about ourselves, deep sadness and even depression, and/or anxiety.
It is important to analyze and think about what happened when a relationship did not work, especially when this seems to happen over and over again… maybe there is something about us in this but maybe it is not that there is something wrong with you … maybe that thought (and feelings that come along with it) have to do with it.
Rejection touches our insecurities and those deep doubts and beliefs we have about ourselves. When we touch that place, we inevitably try to protect ourselves. We do it in many ways: we try to distract ourselves and think of something else, we rationalize and say things like “well they are the ones losing”, “we all like different things, he/she not liking me doesn’t mean nobody will”, “he/she is crazy, screwed up”, etc… all these are ways in which we try to not really feel how we feel: insecure and hurt.
In order to really get over a breakup, it is important that you look inside of you. This will help you figure out where that thought of not being good enough is coming from… who knows, maybe it’s been there for a long time… even when you were a child!